25+ Best Funny 70th Birthday Wishes, Messages, & Quotes

Looking for funny 70th birthday wishes? I am glad that your search has come to an end.

In this article, I have written for you some of the best happy funny 70th birthday wishes and messages for your loved ones.

Read: Belated Birthday Wishes

Funny 70th Birthday Wishes and Messages

Hey there! We want you to know that we’re not always going to be around with the party hats, so we want you to enjoy them now. Happy 70th birthday!

Don’t let people say that you’re old. You’re only as old as the friends you still remember. Happy 70th birthday!

Happy 70th birthday, old man! You’re only as old as the ladies you still sit next to.

Funny 70th Birthday Messages

When we look in the mirror all we see are wrinkles, white hair, and sagging skin. but a clean heart. Happy 70th birthday!

Happy 70th birthday! We know it’s a little later than usual, and we’re sorry, but this was the only card that made it here on time. We promise we’ll try harder next year.

Don’t let your age get you down. You still have the same taste in coffee, your car is in good shape, and you’re still married to the same guy. Happy 70th birthday!

Happy 70th birthday! We can officially admit that we’re not always the best at getting birthday cards to you on time. We promise that next year, we’ll do a better job.


We know you don’t want a party right now. You just want to be alone with lots of Neosporin and Band-Aids. So, we’ll leave you alone. Happy 70th birthday!

Did you cook a big meal today? Yeah, whatever. I’m your son and I will clean it up later. Happy birthday. You don’t look 70.

Happy 70th birthday, dad! We promise not to be too sad when we leave home at 18, but we’re gonna miss you.

You’re turning 70. We know it’s a little backward. We just wanted to say that we love you the way you are today. Happy birthday!

Do you know the best thing about being 10 years old? You can add up all of your birthdays and pretend you’re turning 70 just for fun. Happy 70th birthday. We love you!

Happy 70th birthday, uncle. You’re old enough now to tell everyone that you’re not 70.

Happy birthday, you don’t look 70. You’re just some young guy with white hair, a long beard, and a lot of life experience.

You really keep up with technology. You have the newest computer, tablet, and phone. But still can’t talk to Siri. Happy 70th Birthday!

Happy 70th birthday! We know we probably should have gotten you something better than a cake and a card, but we wanted to send you something right away.

Happy 70th birthday! I know you don’t like to say that you love your age. But I am happy to say that I do, and I love you just the same.

How are you feeling? You seem pretty spunky… going on 70. Happy 70th birthday!

Happy 70th birthday! I know you’re upset that this is your last year of being 20. I am kind of bummed about it too. Because I was hoping to go to the senior prom with you.

You may look old, but you can still act like a kid when you want to. Happy 70th birthday! Have another piece of cake.

You know what they say: ‘It’s never too late to get back on the horse. Or yacht.’ Or ‘have a drink’. Or ‘go on a diet. Happy 70th birthday!

You know that your hair is a little gray and I know it’s starting to sag. But I still love you anyway.

Happy 70th birthday! I can’t promise to use perfect grammar, but I am having fun, just the same.

It’s your 70th birthday, but you’re not as old as you used to be. Happy 70th birthday!

I hope after reading this article you have found some of the best funny 70th birthday wishes and messages that you can send to your dad, mom, husband, wife, brother, or sister.

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